VicVicName: Vic

Title: Editor

Star Sign: Capricorn

Who would play me in a film? Jake Gyllenhaal, it'd make the man blush. He might also start to appreciate the depth of feeling.

If I could pinch one celeb's wardrobe it would be... Imelda Marcos' - her feet better be a size eight.

Who would I most like to be locked up in the Showbiz Shed with? Jake Gyllenhaal - back off Jenny, I know where the key is.

But my showbiz husband (til death us do part) is frankly going to be... Colin Firth - he'd always put the loo seat down.

My slightly embarrassing celeb crush is... Terry Wogan/ Melvyn Bragg. Purely for a nice cuppa and perhaps some supper. Nothing more, you understand.

If I could be a fly on the wall of a celebrity bedroom it would be... Sarah Jessica Parker's so when she nipped into the bathroom I could pilfer all her shoes then fly out of the window. I've heard flies can actually carry quite a lot and they look good in heels too.

Who would you rather be rescued by: Jason Bourne or James Bond? (Team America voice) Matt Damon.

I'd rather lick my own foot than snog... Pete Doherty. He doesn't look like he uses mouthwash.

I'd like to go out on the razz with... Chandler and Joey.

When I'm having a bad day I'd rather be working as... a shower assistant for the England rugby team please.

My most over-used expression is... "Could you just bash this out?"