Dr LoveDr LoveName: Confucius Claude Love

Title: Body Language 'Pert

Star sign: I'm a little bit of eveything.

Who would play me in a film? Tom Cruise would do a fine job - we look very alike, y'know.

If I could pinch one celeb's wardrobe it would be... Kylie Minogue's. Then she wouldn't have any clothes to wear...

Who would I most like to be locked up in the Showbiz Shed with? If Mrs Love is reading this then her. If, however, she's too busy snoozing off her Prozac to see this it'd be Mariah Carey.

But my showbiz husband (til death us do part) is frankly going to be... Husband? What are you trying to say?

My slightly embarrassing celeb crush is... Would it be wrong to say I've always been drawn to my own reflection?

If I could be a fly on the wall of a celebrity bedroom it would be... For research purposes, it would help my body language studies to observe the Pussycat Dolls on a very hot night.

Who would you rather be rescued by: Jason Bourne or James Bond? I'd better have both just to be sure of my safe rescue. It'd be a matter of national security if I were to be kidnapped.

I'd rather lick my own foot than snog... Anyone over the age of 40.

I'd like to go out on the razz with... Peter Stringfellow.

When I'm having a bad day I'd rather be working as... A massage parlour owner.

My most over-used expression is... "Just get comfy on the sofa, I'll be right there."