More fruit; less taste: Hollywood's most adolescent comedy franchise sticks to the tried-and-trusted recipe for a sixth serving of testosteronal teens and torrential body fluids.

But since Jason Biggs, Seann William Scott et al have moved on to bigger (if not necessarily better) things, Beta House - like its straight-to-video predecessors Band Camp and The Naked Mile – is only connected to the first three Pies by the name 'Stifler' and the presence of Eugene "This is my cash-cow and I’m gonna milk it" Levy.

So here we have frat-house hero Dwight Stifler (Talley) introducing his freshman cousin Erik (White) to the sort of only-in-movies campus where boys will be boys and girls are nothing but lickable wallpaper.

Erik's tubby roommate extends the welcome… whilst being enthusiastically ridden by a lass of similar proportions. Suddenly she chokes and there's no time for uncoupling before Erik performs the Heimlich manoeuvre.

With the tone thus set, it's all a-bawd as Erik and his fellow pledges (apart from the black guy who mysteriously disappears) set about completing fifty tasks of Herculean debauchery which will earn them their Beta stripes.

Meanwhile, Dwight is busy masterminding the war effort against the rival Geek house in a winner-takes-all battle for campus supremacy.

But whether Beta or Geek, everyone is living the teenaged-male wet dream; the only difference between them is that the latter wear glasses.

Amongst the regular party animals (and Levy as the fraternity lawyer), the circus is swelled by nymphomaniacs, dwarves, strippers, ostriches, piglets, and, naturally, sheep.

The stickiness never stops. Every barf-tastic, orgasmic scene drips with some sort of excretion or bodily emission, be it male, female or equine.

And it’s all done with maximum mammary exposure in mind. Co-ed bathrooms... Bra-unhooking race… Er, topless chess? You won’t see this many knockers in a door furniture shop.

The girls, bless ‘em, take the misogyny in the spirit it’s meant. Which is to say that Nuts readers will be in Nirvana.

But really, anyone old enough to buy alcohol who catches themselves laughing at this stuff should be thoroughly ashamed. I know I was.

Elliott Noble