You may remember Carvey as Garth, Wayne Campbell's "excellent co-host" in the hit movie series Wayne's World.

That's about the sum of his fame over here but in the States he's revered as an Emmy-award nominated funny guy - a sort of American Alistair McGowan.

Unfortunately, the 36 identities spouting 14 tongues in this effort are the same thing in any language - they're not very funny.

Carvey is essentially a sideman and sidemen, as we know, cannot carry a major motion picture no matter how good the make-up department.

Think Ernie Wise, Sid Little or Alistair Campbell - without the comic genius of a Morecambe, Large or Blair they're about as funny as the shipping forecast.

Carvey plays Pistachio Diguisey, a dim-bulb waiter at the Italian restaurant run by his father Frabbrizio (Brolin).

He sees his ability for mimicry as a gift but, in fact, the talent is genetic and he is the descendant in a long line of Masters of Disguise.

When evil Devlin Bowman (Spiner) kidnaps dad to gain him access to world treasures, including the Liberty Bell, Pistachio springs into action.

Guided by his grand-dad Harold Gould and aided by the obligatory sexy assistant Jennifer (Esposito) he sets out to spoil Bowman's plans.

Rather than being continually battered by waves of witty one-liners, you find yourselves tripping over the odd one as if by accident.

One of the world's most precious artefacts, we learn, is Bruce Willis' hairpiece from Die Hard II.

Not bad, you may think but then you have to sit through a scene where Carvey plays a toffee-nosed English cop when all he really resembles is Midge Ure.

It doesn't get much better than this and soon becomes embarrassingly obvious that Carvey hasn't the charisma or presence to carry the can.

And the dead hand of Adam Sandler (he co-produced) hovers over the enterprise with his trademark vulgarity shot through with a cloying streak of sentimentality.

If you are going to see this, I'd wear a disguise.

Tim Evans