If Ray Harryhausen made Saving Private Ryan, the outcome would probably resemble this superior follow-up to the Sci-Fi Channel’s wartime tour-de-farce SS Doomtrooper.
Always in search of the perfect weapon but never learning their lessons about dabbling in the occult, those silly Nazi shwein-hunds see fit to reawaken a dormant gargoyle god and its stony minions.
The bats out of hell are soon having a marvellous time, terrorising villages and attacking anything that enters their airspace.
Ploughing straight into the flying brick wall are Major Gus (Penny, once the slimmer half of TV’s crimefighting duo Jake and the Fatman) and his spunky bomber crew.
Luckily the beasts show no interest in plucking helpless parachutists from the air, so Gus and the boys are free to regroup on terra firma.
But before they can leave, their commander (Ashton) wants them to blow up a Nazi fortress. No problem. The tricky part is working out how to deal with those goddamned gargoyles.
Enter pretty freedom fighter Sophie (Rose), who’s handy with a gun and just so happens to be an expert in demonology.
All they have to do is find the Spear of Destiny (the thing they stuck in Jesus on the cross) and plunge it into the chief gargoyle heart. Then all the rest will turn back to stone and it’s pip-pip, toodle-oo, and home in time for tea.
Yowsers! This is just the chance young gunner Will (Charmed star Wes Ramsey) needs to prove that he’s not just, um, a loose cannon.
But what’s that? Mein gott, it is ze sound of ze Nazi officer who is breezing down ze Americans’ necks – ze one viz ze most abzurd German accent since Lily Von Schtupp graced Blazing Saddles.
Budget limitations are a fantasy director’s worst enemy, so Ayton is to be applauded for his efficient use of camera and sound to pad out the all-too-infrequent CG action.
The stuff in the air trumps an unadventurous ground mission which ticks all the behind-enemy-lines boxes but fails to make the most of the monsters. As the movie’s raison d’etre, their presence is disappointingly peripheral.
Penny, though, deserves a medal for showing gravitas beyond the call of duty. And the ending delivers an amusingly noteworthy pun on the title too.
Elliott Noble
|
|