Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels had to be applauded for transferring the American mob movie to London's East End.

So it appears a bit of a bizarre decision to repay the favour by relocating two hopeless Irish and English grifters across The Pond.

Scammers Andy (Morrissey) and Pete (Dunbar) are the men behaving badly but getting nowhere on the streets of Chicago.

That is, until Andy swipes a suitcase left in a hotel lobby and discovers it contains $5,000, a gun and instructions to take out a local Mafia boss.

Anybody with an ounce of sense would trouser the moolah and head for the airport...but Andy and Pete decided to stay on in the room and abuse room service.

Bad move. It's not long before the real killers - Tommy (Michael Rappaport) and Terry (Wahlberg) turn up. As does the intended target, an embarrassed-looking Pete Postlethwaite.

Also checking in are Claire Forlani, who finds herself drawn to the erratic Terry, who's finding it difficult to concentrate on the job in hand.

Although competently acted (Morrissey is particularly impressive), a stubbornly earthbound script never lets the characters take off.

In fact, the under-powered dialogue is so drab it barely propels the plot along and is starkly bereft of any decent humour.

There's also an unattractively violent side, with the taking-out of a couple of peripheral characters sitting uncomfortably with the light comedy.

A peculiarly flat movie with little wit or panache, it's definitely an offer you can refuse.

Tim Evans