It's the dark days of World War II and the last thing needed by the British Army - facing the Nazi menace across the Channel - is more grief.

Particularly if it's large, scaly and - well knock me down with a Woodbine - appears to be the infamous Loch Ness Monster.

It turns out that lonely local lad Angus (Etel) has raised Nessie - or to be more precise a Water Horse - from the egg without anyone at home knowing.

Everyone, that is, except his bossy sister and enigmatic handyman Lewis Mowbray (Ben Chaplin), who's been employed by Lady of the House Emily Watson while her hubby is away fighting at sea.

Inconveniently for wee Angus' anthropological research, his family home has been requisitioned as a billet for posh knob Captain Hamilton (Morrissey) and his troop of hairy-arsed gunners.

They're up in Scotland to construct an artillery battery overlooking the loch and fend off the lurking menace of German U-boats (not a difficult task - Loch Ness is landlocked).

Anyway, when the Water Horse grows from cute bath-time plaything to great hulking brute - courtesy of the Narnia/Lord of the Rings sfx people - it's not going to remain a secret any longer.

Based on the novel by Babe creator Dick King-Smith and directed by Jay 'Ladder 49' Russell, this is a handsomely mounted children's yarn (actually filmed in New Zealand) with an edge absent from similar Disney fare.

Morrissey - probably still regretting Basic Instinct 2 - is well cast as the pompous public school commander while rest of the players - particularly Millions' Etel - do their best within the limitations of a slight script.

There's a half-hearted dig at the madness of global conflict along Culture Club lines ("war is stupid, people are stupid") but that's balanced by a priceless appearance from Brian Cox as the grizzled narrator.

Despite the well-staged storm scenes, this is by no means wet kids' fare.

Tim Evans