Out of breath after climbing a flight of stairs? Wife nagging you to lose weight? Diet not working?

Why not try running over and killing the daughter of a 106-year-old gypsy? In the blink of an evil eye, you’ll be shedding pounds at an alarming rate, no matter how much you eat.

It may sound drastic, but that’s the situation lardy lawyer Billy Halleck (Burke) finds himself in after being distracted from driving by the amorous attentions of his wife (Lenz).

Acquitted of the crime by one of his judicial friends, Billy is confronted by the victim’s father Tadzu Lempke (Constantine) outside the courthouse. The old man says one word: “Thinner”.

Initial delight at his rapid weight loss soon gives way to fear when Billy realises that the curse is going to eat him away until there’s nothing left.

Unable to reason with the vengeful Romany – or his spitting firebrand of a granddaughter, Gina (Kari Wuhrer) – Billy looks to his mobster client Richie (Mantegna) to lean on the family.

Armed with the catchy slogan: “The White Man From Town Says Stop”, Richie sets about putting the frighteners on Tadzu and his travelling clan. But his targets are used to threats. They have followed through with many in their time.

Strictly speaking, this should be Richard Bachman’s Thinner, written as it was by King under his occasional pseudonym. Appropriately, it is one of the author’s leaner works, a gripping story that rattles through to a satisfactorily downbeat conclusion.

But as with many King-to-screen conversions, this adaptation is sadly undernourished.

Firstly, the make-up is not great. Burke’s fat suit is about as convincing as your average department store Santa, the facial prosthetics giving him the faintly amused expression of a simpleton.

In the book, Billy’s subsequent emaciation draws looks of horror from everyone he meets; Burke merely looks like he has the flu.

More damagingly, the performances – and thus the suspense levels – are pure Scooby-Doo.

And one of the novel’s highlights - Richie’s fate at the hands of mad Gina - is completely omitted. Why that should be is unclear, as it could have been recreated for peanuts and provided the movie with a much-needed memorable moment.

Thinner won't have enough meat on its bones for most horror fans.

Elliott Noble