Director David Mackenzie has obviously been watching the 1973 cult classic The Wickerman a touch too many times.

Like Edward Woodward's cop, his two protagonists Charlie (Mackenzie) and Vincente (Phillips) chance upon a remote community hiding a terrible secret.

However, where The Wickerman concentrated on a core plot of devil worship and Britt Ekland cavorting about sans apparel, this meanders all over the place.

Charlie is on his way to burn down the home of his wife's lover on the Isle of Skye when he picks up Vincente, who's on the run from two hitmen.

A half-Spanish gigolo, the irate husband of one of his "clients" has threatened to cut off the tools of his trade.

Running out of petrol, they pitch up at the remote Highland retreat overseen by the dying Ellie (Sheila Donald).

Among the residents is a recovering sex addict, who lapses with Vicente almost immediately, and a paedophile priest fighting his urges.

Just to make things interesting, Vincentre also keeps glimpsing the spectral figure of a young girl wafting through the old house's corridors.

And a local deerstalker holding a torch for retreat guest Claire (Smurfit) also drops by on occasion for the odd dram.

"Normal rules don't apply here," the new arrivals are told. Probably the understatement of the year.

Billing itself as a comedy and a horror yarn, this never quite decides which it wants to be and so never succeeds at either.

For a comedy you need gags (and there are precious few here), while for horror you need shocks (not to be confused with gratuitous gore).

Awkwardly self-conscious and overlong, it also attempts to wring out a dramatic denouement while the whole cast are dressed in drag. Which is nice.

Tim Evans