"Look at the size of those knockers," gasps Eddie Murphy in an observation that brings back happy memories of hapless Blue Peter Presenter Simon Groom.

It was Sime's double entrendre when admiring the refurbished additions to Durham Cathedral that elicited titters from a whole generation of wise-up school kids.

Now Eddie Murphy delivers the same line - though it might play better in Bolton that it does in Bolder, Colorado.

The knockers Eddie is referring to are attached to the doors of a decrepit mansion belonging to the mysterious Edward Stacey (Nathaniel Parker).

Estate agent Jim Evers (Murphy) has been waylaid to sell the property while on a weekend break with his wife Sara (Tilly) and their two kids.

Cue a torrential downpour, and Jim and the family find themselves spending the night at the spooky pile as guests of creepy Ed.

Although it takes a while to get into the spirit of things (sorry), this comes to life (or death) when the ghouls make their appearance.

It transpires that lovelorn spectre Edward is convinced that Sara is the reincarnation of his lost love, who took her life a century before.

Murphy, who appears to be exclusively taking roles in kids' films, is a shadow of his former self and ill-served with a weak script.

However, the special effects more than make up for any shortcomings in the dialogue, throwing up talking crystal balls and phantom serving staff.

Terence Stamp - who resembles Peter Cushing after a spell in a wind tunnel - hams it up as the spectral butler Ramsley.

There's also a quite terrifying mausoleum scene when the dead break out of their coffins which owes more to George A Romero's zombie flicks than Uncle Walt's family fare.

Adults may bemoan another part which sees the prodigiously gifted Murphy on auto-pilot but the anklebiters will be watching from behind the seat.

Tim Evans