There's one scene where the villain of the piece talks about the method for his operation. "You need brutality, the ability to inflict pain - but wit, wit is not required."

That about sums up Transporter 2. There's a lot of pain inflicted on the bad guys but it's all done without much wit.

Our 'Transporter' (Statham) has moved to Miami to work as chauffeur to a wealthy family, ferrying young Billy on the school run.

An ex-Special Ops veteran, Frank has developed a bond with Billy - even adding a new 'fourth rule' to his special code, promising that he'll never let anyone hurt the kid.

Which of course means that moments later all hell breaks loose when the pair come across a lingerie-wearing machine gun-toting dominatrix in a hospital.

It turns out that she and her mercenary Latin American partner want to use the kid as a Trojan horse to wipe out his government-connected father (Modine) and the drug enforcement officials the old man's due to meet.

Transporter 2 is basically Man On Fire meets Bad Boys meets Jet Li. The action is suitably high-octane with bags of explosions, inventive ways of knocking people down and, naturally, cars going very fast.

It's all very predictable, replete with one-dimensional characters and unintentionally mirth-inducing lines like "Your child has a deadly virus inside him".

Whilst Statham's action credentials are fine, he seems to take the movie and the far-fetched plot way too seriously, operating in two modes: stern and sterner.

The horribly syrupy interaction between Frank and Billy also highlights how difficult it is to create a credible child/adult combination on screen.

Model-turned-actress of the moment Valetta puts in a by-the-numbers performance as the mum at her wits ends and Statham’s Lock, Stock... pal Jason Flemyng also turns up cast bizarrely as a Ukrainian heavy.

If you want stylised action, nice settings and a plot that never deviates on its way from A to B then you’ll enjoy Transporter 2. Otherwise, like junk mail, this is a package you’ll be in no rush to open.

Jack Tsang