Five hundred years of the Roman Empire are at a cataclysmic end after the Barbarian hordes breached the gates and did the nasty to the natives.

The newly-crowned 12-year-old Caesar, Romulus Augustus (Sangster) has been seized by Barbarian general Odoacer (Peter Mullan) and held captive on Capri.

(which, when you think about it, has got to be better than being incarcerated on the Isle of Man. Or Azkhaban.)

However, top Roman squaddie Aurelius (Firth) has been tasked with protecting the little fellah...and heads to the sun-kissed Italian resort with a crack group of legionnaires.

Little do they know that their destiny will be shaped by what lies hidden in the fortress - the mythical sword of Caesar, which confers power on whoever is destined to rule. Or something.

Yes, we've seen (and heard) it all before. And it's getting a tad boring.

A De Laurentis-produced euro-pudding like this has got to punch well above its weight to escape the shadow of mega-budgeted epics such as Troy or Kingdom of Heaven.

Truth be told, this would even struggle coming up against the shorty-loincloths, buffed pecs and oiled torsos of 300.

Firth looks permanently embarrassed delivering clunking dialogue in a leather dominatrix outfit although Aishwarya Rai enjoyably relishes her Pirates of the Caribbean-lite turn as a heaving-chested warrior woman.

Unfortunately, any good work is undone by Dame Ben Kingsley, whose flowing-barneted Welsh mystic has the look of the bastard son of Gandalf and Max Boyce.

The action sequences are handled well enough but the CGI isn't up to snuff in a tale that barely merits the retelling.

Let's hope this truly is the last legion.

Tim Evans