| Thursday 04 December | 20:00 | Sky Movies Family |
| Friday 05 December | 00:50 | Sky Movies Family |
| Monday 08 December | 11:50 | Sky Movies HD1 |
In his war against the world’s pirates, dastardly Lord Beckett (Tom Hollander) of the East India Trading Company has a special weapon: none other than Ol’ Squidface himself, Davy Jones (Nighy).
Beckett has the crustaceous captain’s heart under lock and key, and so controls the fearsome ghost ship The Flying Dutchman. Helmed by Admiral Norrington (Jack Davenport), it is tearing the Jolly Roger to shreds.
Without the help of corsair extraordinaire Jack Sparrow (Depp), it could mean the end for the ocean-going criminal fraternity. Unfortunately, Jack is currently going schizo at the bottom of Davy Jones’ Locker (location: World’s End) after being grabbed by the Kraken.
To effect his release, Jack’s ex-enemy Barbossa (Rush), plucky poshbuckler Elizabeth Swann (Knightley) and voodoo queen Tia Dalma (Naomie Harris) take the Black Pearl to Singapore, stronghold of the pirate lord Sao Feng (Chow).
They need Sao Feng’s charts to get to World’s End. They might also like their bedraggled friend Will Turner (Bloom) back.
The special effects and production values hit the eye like a monkey from a cannon, from the aforementioned crabs through the anthropologic aquarium of The Flying Dutchman to the storming, swirling, all-guns-blazing finale.
Notable exceptions would be mad Jack's tatty-looking pair of mini-mes, and the giant goddess Calypso who looks like a castaway from Ghostbusters.
Since this is, supposedly, the end of the Pirates journey, director Verbinski and writers Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio are right to tie up loose ends - but not to drown everyone in a sea of plot.
It’s nice to see the loyalties of Norrington and Will’s dad Bootstrap Bill (Stellan Skarsgard) asserted, and ‘Keef’ Richards finally makes his much-anticipated bow as Jack’s dad Captain Teague, who looks after both the pirate code... and Jack’s mum... sort of.
Regrettably, and despite Depp’s continuing efforts, the humour is a trifle forced (a touch of spyglass envy is, however, always good for a hearty “ahaarr”).
And the plot is so overstuffed with bluffs, bargains, double-backs and betrayals that you won't know your mizzen from your mainbrace.
Pity they didn’t keelhaul Knightley, too. She’s a real weevil in the biscuit tin, ruining the salty atmosphere with every plummily unconvincing, Chanel-scented, frustratingly regular appearance.
The ship has sailed, then. But avast ye good: as At World’s End plunders riches beyond Blackbeard’s wildest dreams, no man should rightly feel hornswaggled.
|
|