Rich On Clones

Rich on Reception goes to the movies

Movies don't come bigger than Star Wars. It's a series of films that have made more money than would be needed to pay off the third world debt. Somehow, over time, the original trilogy has become the greatest trilogy of all time and woven itself into the hearts of the vast majority of the world's population.

I almost feel as though I'm not able to be negative on the subject for fear of alienating myself from you all. But since George Lucas completed The Return Of The Jedi, it's been a money machine, churning out box sets and re-issues of the same films over and over again.

He can do that because we spend the money time and time again. But The Phantom Menace made us realise that even Lucas isn't infallible. It was probably the first time most of the audience walked away from the cinema wondering if maybe they had just seen a Star Wars movie that wasn't, well, very good. So after the alleged failure (it took over $300m worldwide) the pressure began to mount, and all of a sudden Star Wars - Episode II: Attack Of The Clones has become the most important Star Wars release to date.

My own early Star Wars memories are very vague. I remember seeing Return Of The Jedi at the cinema, although the only bit I remember is the bit I wasn't allowed to watch. Then of course there's my Old Man's video collection. I'm not really supposed to talk about that on account of the pending court case after my last comments on the subject. But I do remember watching Star Wars before it was released on video, although the man with the camcorder had to pan right when the subtitled bits were on.

Politics and war

In hindsight I wonder what I must have been thinking during all the bits that involved politics. The whole thing is about politics and war yet, as a five-year-old, I was still thrilled by everything that happened. So I assume there was enough there to occupy me. This can certainly be said of the original, which is basically just a fairytale in space. If you think about it, you've got a young, blonde, blue-eyed hero (Luke), a wizard guide (Obi-Wan), a princess in a castle (Leia in the Death Star) and an evil king (Darth Vader). That's not really the case with any of the others, although Empire and Jedi had relatively basic plots. Episode 2, however, has anything but.

It's 10 years after The Phantom Menace and Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen) is all grown up and hanging around with Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor), who is in the process of teaching him the ways of the force. They are assigned to security detail, which means looking after Senator Padmé Amidala (Natalie Portman). After a couple of assassination attempts, Kenobi heads off on the trail to find the would-be killers and Anakin is left to take care of the Senator.

That's the basics of it. After that it's a rollercoaster of a ride stretching across as many planets as Lucas could invent. Along the way we discover an evil ex-Jedi who's planning to destroy the existing Republic and the Jedi and a cool bad guy who's helped create an army of clones. Given that the film is called Attack Of The Clones I assumed they would represent the bad guys, but they don't, really. It's something that'll become clearer in the next film, apparently but, quite frankly, I want to know now.

Relentless action

But this is where the problems begin for me. There is so much to the story that not only could I not fit a summary in this review, but I couldn't follow it anyway. The doomed love story playing out between Anakin and Padmé is the only basic story element that previous Star Wars films have embodied and the film suffers for it. We have often complained that big-budget, effects-laden films are short on stories and ideas. Lucas has countered that by fitting in more politics than the Wembley fiasco. This may not be a bad thing, depending on what you expect to see, but even if that is what I wanted, I couldn't understand it anyway. I think a second viewing of the film is essential... could it be they did it on purpose? Films don't break box office records with single viewings, you know....

The telling of the story may be a little patchy, and Lucas clearly relies on us making our own assumptions (none of our assumptions could be as far fetched as Lucas', who clearly thinks we all know the underlying story well enough to understand what's happening without being told), but what makes it all the harder to follow is the sheer scale and depth of the visuals.

This film is stunning. Truly breath-taking at times. The scenery and backgrounds are huge, almost epic. Very rarely did I notice the special effects, which is incredible when you think that nearly every shot has computer graphics at some point. But yes, here's my next issue. The action is so relentless that even a Spot The Dog In Space storyline would be hard to follow, let alone Lucas' efforts to write a story only comparable to the complexities of JFK and The Matrix pasted together. You are constantly wowed, yet it's a distraction because you don't have enough time to take a breather from one set piece before another is thrown at you. I don't know how many scenes are in your average movie, but I think they've outdone the figure by at least 10:1 here.

Classic parallels

When Lucas hits the wrong note it's like watching Beckham run up to take a free kick, only to trip over the ball and break his nose on the floor. But when he hits the right note, you're looking at a free kick that changes direction three times before breaking the crossbar and ending in the back of the net. It's no coincidence that those moments belong to character like Yoda and R2-D2. There are plenty of references to the original films - "I got a bad feeling about this" crops up at least once and there are several bits that are total parallels to other classic Star Wars moments.

I gather George treats his scripts like poetry with recurring themes, such as Anakin and Padmé on a retractable bridge a là Luke and Leia in Episode IV. Unfortunately he didn't bear this in mind during 80% of the script-writing. One scene with the - thankfully - little-used Jar Jar Binks is Ed Wood at his best. Binks, by the way, is relegated to more of a cameo role as Lucas has clearly succumbed to the critical bashing his proud CGI creation took in the wake of the Episode I.

Ewan McGregor's recent whinging about the making of these films initially surprised me. But, having seen this one, I noticed he was upstaged by literally every character on screen. Not only was Hayden Christensen's performance nigh on perfect, but he got all the good lines. So Kenobi heads off on his private detective trail to find himself a classic scene. Only the next stop on his universal tour finds him with the coolest 3ft alien in film, who gets to say half his lines backwards and Samuel L Jackson, who is, well, Sam L Jackson. (He actually says the line...."This party is over..." before kicking off a huge fight.) So off he goes again only to end up in the company of Christopher Lee. Then he gives up.

Streets ahead

Christensen deserves a special mention for his portrayal of the young Darth Vader. All you need to do is look at his eyes and you'll see what I mean. This kid is dark. His only shortfall is the whiney nature of the character.

The rest of the players have little to work with. Portman could do her role lying down (preferably) and the likes of Jimmy Smits and Temeura Morrison just get on with their jobs. But this never was an actors' film.

Like I said, we are made to feel privileged to see Star Wars and, compared to other Hollywood blockbusters, this latest one is streets ahead, largely thanks to our familiarity with the characters and the world it's set in. But the originals led to a sea of imitations and there are moments when I felt this wasn't a lot better than those. The more I think back, though, the more I like it. Unlike like The Phantom Menace, this won't lead to an attack of the groans.

Rich
Unit 2 Reception
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