Rich On Collateral Damage

Rich on Reception goes to the movies

I've mentioned before that I was brought up on a diet of classic Eighties action movies. The birth of video coincided with the new wave of no-brainer movies which Hollywood churned out over the middle and latter stages of the decade and, consequently, my early years. The film-makers' new-found freedom to express themselves with big guns and even bigger body counts paved the way for a new breed of star. The action man.

Sure, there had been action stars in the past - Steve McQueen, Paul Newman, Robert Redford - but they would never have made it in the new era, because they could act. No, the new-wave stars waved goodbye to acting ability and technique and learnt the one-liners which would immortalise the brilliantly unrealistic movies they starred in.

After initial delves into the acting world with Rocky and Rambo, Sly Stallone soon found himself falling down the slippery slope, Daylight and Tango And Cash being the main subjects of the court case The people vs Sly Stallone's crap films. But Sly got smart. He realised, as Bruce Willis has done, that people were growing up and expecting more sophistication from their movies. Hence Copland. Bruce has done such a good job with his projects (The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable) that we do now think of him as an actor, not a heavyweight action star.

Action trinity

But obviously I'm missing out a rather large member of our holy Eighties action trinity. Arnold Schwarzenegger embraced every quality that defined the Eighties action hero. He was big, he couldn't act and he delivered one-liners like nobody else. And we loved him for it. But alas, every dog has his day and Arnie has had his. Some forays into comedy (Twins), mostly ill-advised (Junior), the occasional laugh at his own expense (Last Action Hero) and a tongue-in-cheek all-action vehicle (True Lies) can't hide the fact that he relies on one style and one style alone.

A good guy beating 100 bad guys and then their boss for either revenge or to save a relative/ friend (Commando, Red Heat, The Running Man). When he studies the scripts that drop through his letterbox, he knows there has to be a little more to the plot now. He knows we expect more from action movies. So with End Of Days he elected to be a suicidal drunk. This act was achieved by growing a three-day beard. The film failed, but Arnie is back with another attempt at mixing action with serious acting. Welcome to Collateral Damage.

This time round Arnie is Gordy, a firefighter with a lovely wife and darling little boy. One fine summer's day, a terrorist attack takes place and Arnie sees his beloved family die. Soon after the explosion Arnie pulls a new acting technique out of the bag - looking bemused. I think he intends to show some sadness, too, but mostly it's just bemused. Especially when he discovers the American government has no interest in finding the terrorists who destroyed his life. Gordy realises the only way to avenge his family's death will be to go to Colombia and destroy the killers himself.

Fake mole

The plot starts off with a bit of credit and then falls apart. Gordy was originally a normal, everyday kinda guy. But when he ups sticks and heads into the jungle he's suddenly a survivor. He's all his old characters combined, only with a little more guile and purpose. The creditable turn as a normal guy is blown wide open when he slides down a cliff, into a river and over a waterfall without so much as a scratch; just what we wanted in the Eighties but something we slate in the Noughties. But Gordy isn't an action man. No, if you look carefully, he doesn't have a gun. He wouldn't know how to use one. After all, he's just a fireman, although he does manage to get through a minefield, fight a trained marine, blow up a basement and fool the entire Colombian army.

What amazed me most was the talent involved in this film. The dodgy government figure is played by Elias Koteas (Crash, The Thin Red Line). And I'm telling you, you'll never see a better De Niro impression. Seriously, there's no way he played that out unintentionally. But to be fair, he did stop short of gluing a fake mole to his cheek. That's not to say I didn't like him. He did a good job; like a car with no suspension, or Anna Nicole Smith with a trainer bra, he has to support Arnie throughout.

Then there was one of my personal favourites, Colombian-born Romeo + Juliet star John Leguizamo. This man oozes class but, again, he shares his screen time with the big guy. In fact his performance is so solid, it makes you remember you're watching Collateral Damage and not Arnie goes to Colombia. The best and most unpredictable cameo I've seen to date was Coen brothers favourite John Turturro, whose turn as a Canadian prisoner was as bizarre as it was surprising. It seems to me Arnie has been surrounded by talent (including the much acclaimed director of The Fugitive, Andrew Davis) in an attempt to lift himself out of a rather large talentless hole.

No lasting damage

I have to tell you now - you will laugh. You go into the film thinking it's as serious as an Arnie movie gets. But believe me, I laughed more through this than 'Ali G In Da House'. The bit where Arnold screams "NNNNNNOOOOOO!" is my all-time favourite laugh. Better than Airplane. The whole audience erupted.

The events of last year have given any film involving bombs food for thought. In this instance, a direct terrorist attack on American soil needs to be dealt with sensitively. But it would appear the film-makers use the situation to their advantage. The seriousness of the subject is used to give the film more credit, something Arnie is striving for. Another problem is that a small bomb set by a bunch of guerrillas pales in comparison to the events of September 11. We've seen it for real and it's much more shocking than this.

You can go into the cinema expecting this being an action adventure but you'll be disappointed, because the hero is trying not to be a hero. Or you can go in expecting to see a serious account of one man's effort to overcome the evil in the world. And you will laugh. Either way you'll be entertained, as the action, albeit stunningly unoriginal and, at times, boring, is very well handled, But don't worry, no lasting damage has been done. Schwarzenegger did all that years ago.

Rich
Unit 2 Reception
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