Original 'Saint' author Leslie Charteris would be spinning in his grave at this film version of his dashing adventurer in crime.

Charteris' books were always page-turners: this is OK when it gets going but that isn't often, and most of the time it's a yawn.

Star Val Kilmer has about as much Saintly charisma as a bucket of wet cement, while the plot, despite its portentous (and pretentious) scene-setting, is as featherweight as the most light-hearted of the Saint's written adventures.

Anyone who's read the books knows that the Saint's nickname comes from his initials, ST - for Simon Templar. But no. The film has to invent some poppycock about a repressive orphanage where all the children have names of saints.

That's just the first mistake in a screenplay that rarely strikes the right mood - but does supply some standard excitements with scarred Russian agents.