Director Gus Van Sant scaled the pinnacle of cinematic pointlessness when he remade Hitchcock's Psycho in an obsessive frame-by-frame recreation.

Following in that ignoble tradition he's hooked up with Matt Damon and Casey Affleck to shoot this two-handed vanity project...with lots of sand.

Shot in Argentina for no apparent reason (what's wrong with the Californian desert?), the two stars play a couple of hikers on the sunbaked Wilderness Trail.

Demonstrating the sort of organisational incompetence that would get them drummed out of the Ramblers, they set off for what they see as a gentle stroll.

Togged out in just sweatshirts and jeans, they have got plenty of cigarettes...but not even one bar of Kendal Mint Cake. Talk about unprepared.

They then make the cardinal error of diverging from the path because they don't want to share the trail with some "hiking mom".

Big mistake. It's soon apparent that they're hopelessly lost and haven't got a clue what to do except climb the nearest peak for a look around.

Very soon it appears Matt's character (we never learn his name) is becoming delirious ...but it just turns out to be appalling dialogue.

Jokey asides and practical steps soon give way to the terrifying recognition that their lives are in grave danger as the gags cease and thirst takes over.

It's certainly beguiling to look at - lots of scudding clouds over bleached salt pans and fissured mountain ranges.

However, what purports to be a battle for survival soon turn into a battle for cinema audiences to stay awake.

Tim Evans