Andrew Lloyd Webber fans will be putting the baking on hold and freshening up that blue rinse for this big screen outing of the popular composer's theatrical smash.

The photogenically-challenged one takes on the production chores... but the direction is left up to veteran adrenalin junkie Joel Schumacher.

Quite how the likes of Batman Forever, Phone Booth and Tigerland will sit with this cosy opera-lite version of the legendary story is an interesting poser.

In the event, Schumacher marries his trademark grand visual style to Lloyd Webber's ear for the odd decent tune drowned in an oceanic orchestral arrangement.

The story tells how orphaned understudy Christine (Rossum) is forced to choose between theatre patron Vicomte Raoul de Chagny (Wilson) and her spectral muse (Gerard Butler).

Plucked from the chorus line when sentimental diva La Carlotta (Driver) throws a wobbler, Christine proves a sensation in the lead role... and catches the eye of absurdly youthful Raoul.

This isn't good news for the pouty phantom, who regards the youngster as his exclusive property and resents the saucer-eyes of this lovestruck young pup.

With Lloyd Webber providing the material and Schumacher the direction, it's no surprise that this melodrama becomes an over-egged victim of its own excess.

The Phantom, played by a less than vocally impressive Butler, lives in a subterranean lair that comes across as a flooded pit given a makeover by Liberace.

There's an impressive opening sequence where the decrepit theatre is swept back to its immaculate glory days... but none of the unfolding drama matches this jaw-dropping setpiece.

Rossum can trill like a bird, while there's able support from Brookside babe Jennifer Ellison and Callow and Hinds prove a welcome humorous distraction as the theatre's eager new managers.

However, two hours plus of Lloyd Webber's bombast - cue Hammer horror organ - and Schumacher's dizzy direction - somebody tell the production designer to ease off the mind enhancers - will only appeal to their respective fan clubs.

For the rest of us it's a diverting but hardly arresting spectacle. This phantom doesn't exactly spirit you away.

Tim Evans