Following a slew of American remakes of his finest films, Michael Caine must be getting just a little hacked off with Hollywood.

Mark Wahlberg delivered an anaemic Charlie Croker in The Italian Job (better than you might think) while Sylvester Stallone bulldozed Get Carter (there are no words).

Now Jude Law (at least he's British) assumes the master's mantle to play Alfie in a shiny yet depthless remake of an original film that was totally of its time.

The action has relocated from the grim austerity of 60s Britain to the adult playground of Sex in the City New York.

Alfie now drives a gleaming stretch limo down the Manhattan canyons, seducing whichever poppet he finds appealing sitting in the back seat.

These range from the physically gorgeous yet mentally damaged wild child Nikki (Miller) to Susan Sarandon's Chanel-drenched career woman who is more than a match for the young chancer.

Taken in isolation, this year's model is a mildly diverting comedy drama with a sharp reading from Law and some decent lines ("If you ooze masculinity, like some of us do, you've got nothing to fear from pink.")

However, in comparison with the socially-loaded original, it's shallow and sentimental, styled like a tacky Third Avenue singles bar and with all the emotional depth of a Hallmark card.

Can you really believe Alfie would really tootle around Manhattan on a scooter like an extra in Quadraphenia while the mood's not helped by Mick Jagger popping up every now and then to wheeze a sub-Rolling Stones-style ditty.

Caine's alchemic combination of brutal arrogance and deep insecurity is replaced by a cocky immaturity from Law with the whole cast seemingly on the verge of tears. What's it all about, indeed.

See it. You might like it. But don't see the original first.

Tim Evans