Officially the first person to use the ‘f’ word in a mainstream movie (1967’s I’ll Never Forget What’s ‘Is Name), The Rolling Stones’ favourite protégée and drug buddy Marianne Faithfull was the undisputed bad girl of the Sixties.

Forty years on, the iconic Girl On A Motorcycle gets to grips with choppers of a different kind as Maggie, the suburban gran whose (hand) job will fund a life-saving trip to Australia for her ailing grandson.

Feeling it’s all rather seedy and demeaning, Maggie keeps it to herself. But club owner Miki (Manojlovic) quickly realises that she has a gift and not only gives her a stage name, but makes a deal to pay her up front.

Naturally her son Tom (Bishop) wants to know where the cash came from. And like everyone else in the village, her prim friend Jane (Agutter) is also curious to know what Maggie is up to… and why her arm is in a sling.

How, though, does one explain ‘penis elbow’ to the ladies at the bridge club?

Despite the snigger-laden premise, director Gabarski opts for Ken Loach straightness over Carry On-style shenanigans.

So while Maggie’s cleaning-lady approach to the job is touchingly sweet, the orgiastic mural at rival strip joint Sex-O-Roma is all-too-believably sad. But ooh no, missus, you won’t find any gags about making a deposit in the hole-in-the-wall here.

Gabarski is careful to keep the club members’ members out of sight too. In fact, the only wood you’ll find here is in the dialogue and Bishop’s shaky performance.

However, the script does make East European racketeer Miki less of a villain than most characters of his type.

But since Tom and his wife appear to think their son can be cured by sulking, would people be so appalled by Maggie’s behaviour knowing that it's the solution to a matter of life and death?

Faithfull’s Maggie may be drab and disappointingly one-note... but at least she gives a toss.

Elliott Noble