One Film To Rule Them All

The Return Of The King has successfully completed what it set out to do after storming the 2004 Oscars.

Peter Jackson has at last been acknowledged by the Academy members, after they unanimously voted his closing part of Tolkien's fantasy as the best film of the year - all aspects of it.

The self-styled hobbit man went home with gongs for best film, best director and best adapted screenplay.

Members of his posse also walked off with best art direction, best costume design, best film editing, best make-up, best original score, best original song, best sound mixing and best visual effects...almost easier to say it won EVERYTHING it was up for.

This all came during an evening that - unless you were involved in the Fellowship in some shape or form - was actually quite dull, without any major hitches or awkward moments.

There weren't even any Michael Moore style controversial speeches - just a slight mention of the lack of Weapons of Mass Destruction by best actor Sean Penn, which received a ripple of applause.

There was a slight threat of tears from best actress Charlize Theron as she thanked her partner and her mother - for some reason everyone was thanking their mums but no one was bothering with their dads...

Except, of course, Sofia Coppola, who kinda had to thank her (famous) Pa when she picked up her award for best original screenplay.

There was no surprise when Renee Zellweger was named best supporting actress for her part in Cold Mountain - she thanked practically everyone who has a name in her acceptance speech, which was nice - but a bit tedious.

Tim Robbins walked off with the best supporting actor gong for his role in Mystic River and gave a moving speech to encourage victims of abuse.

With Master And Commander picking up two awards for cinematography and sound editing, the big loser of the night was Seabiscuit, which failed to convert any of its seven nominations into bronze statues - but frankly, if you were in the same category as The Return Of The King, you didn't stand a chance.

And it wasn't a good night for flying the Union Jack either, with fake smiles coming from Jude Law, Ben Kingsley and Samantha Morton.

Back as the host, Billy Crystal was on fine form, and some of the presenters helped to perk the evening up, most notably Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson, who raised some genuine laughs.

But after nearly four hours of clapping and nodding and smiling and sitting and hugging and some more clapping, the ceremony was over and the stars filed out, on their way to schmooze and clink champagne glasses at the after-show parties.

Get the full list of who's shunting that picture of their granny off the mantelpiece with our Oscar Winners list.