This is as stunningly bad an all-star movie as you could find. Totally over-played, and directed with cameras seemingly riveted to the floor, it's about a gangster (Stallone), who's promised his dying father (Kirk Douglas! ) that he'll go straight. His efforts to proceed in this direction and become a banker are hampered by trying to marry off his daughter to several different people in a single day. The distinguished cast is encouraged to move stiffly and mug gracelessly by director Landis, who deserves some kind of onion for the worst direction of a major film in ages. Stallone's wife and daughter (Ornella Muti, Marisa Tomei) look about the same age: the least of the worries of a film that's so awful you'll probably find the design of the cinema (or living-room) ceiling more interesting.

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