The scariest thing about this is that you don't have to think too hard to arrive at the conclusion it's the brain child of a studio accounts department.

Even the producers realised the franchise - a send-up of the recent spate of horror yarns such as Friday the 13th and Blair Witch Project - was on its last legs.

However, with the nearest they get to a creative flourish, the number crunchers happily disinter Airplane director David Zucker for one last stab at the cash cow.

This is so tired it really ought to be packed off to bed in stripey pyjamas with a mug of Horlicks and a chapter of King Solomon's Mines.

Bleary-eyed and deadbeat, is sleepwalks through the motions and even the cherished sight of Pamela Anderson's breasts can't raise the spirits (or anything else for that matter).

The only surprise is that they haven't plundered the spoof potential of Scary Movie 2 but you feel that would be too much of a narrative challenge.

Of course, some comedy moments shake you out of your stupor - one decent scene has Michael Jackson dangled out of a window and asked: "How do you like it?" Pop Idol critic Simon Cowell also gets his come uppance in a cameo so contrived that the punchline hits you with all the force of a feather.

On the whole the entire shebang is reminiscent of a French & Saunders extended skit of box office hits but without the wit and affectionate eye for detail.

It's deeply in trouble when the plot resorts to cheap gags about children getting beaten, eviscerated or run over - a ploy for getting easy laughs that even Bernard Manning would baulk (or is that bulk) at.

And if you haven't seen the original movies, then around 50% of the jokes are going to soar well over your head.

Save your money for A Mighty Wind. It blows this away.

Tim Evans