Forget about the healing powers of a Radox bath. The best treatment to unblock those pores is a soak in a rockpool of dragon's blood.

A deep dunk in a fire-breathing monster's vital fluids can also render your skin imprenetrable to an axe, according to Germanic legend.

This latter benefit comes in particularly handy for Prince Siegfried (Furmann), the rightful king of Dark Ages Xanten who has been usurped by the evil Twin Kings.

He's pitched up at the kingdom of Bergund where he's got pally with King Gunther (Samuel West) and pledges to slay the dragon Fafnir.

Once the monster's topped he can hop it with its gold...into the arms of his true love Brunhild (Loken), the Valkyrie warrior Queen of Iceland.

Originally a two-part German TV movie, this borrows liberally from the Nibelungs legend, themselves said to have inspired JRR Tolkien.

However, don't for one minute believe this bears comparison with Peter Jackson's monumental adaptation of Lord of the Rings.

The special effects have their moments - the dragon-slaying scene and a scrap on a waterfall-bound ice floe - but this plays like an extended episode of Xena: Warrior Princess.

Terminator starlet Kristanna Loken is a bit of handful as a prospective wife and queen who feels obliged to take on would-be suitors in armed combat.

However, she and journeyman actor Furmann aren't much of a match even if their union is impeded by a medieval version of rohypnol administered to poor old Siegfried.

In fact, through most of the film he's got to labour with the name Eric The Blacksmith - hardly Stryder, curse of the Ring Wraiths.

Meanwhile, Julian Sands delivers what is basically a poor man's Alan "Sheriff of Nottingham" Rickman as a duplicitous member of Gunther's court.

It's a bit ragged with the film stock appearing to change from scene to scene while the dialogue makes the recent Arthur sound like Shakespeare.

LOTR comparisons are unfortunate - it's more Middlesbrough than Middle Earth.

Tim Evans